


Going Down Slowly, or Quickly, Whichever Works

by GlitterDwarf



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-10
Packaged: 2017-11-09 14:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/456642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterDwarf/pseuds/GlitterDwarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Curiously, a law is passed that every person has to be married. Shenanigans and too many thoughts ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for the Back to Firefly Prompt Challenge 
> 
> 55\. A Marriage Law is passed where everyone has to get married. River, Kaylee, Jayne, Zoe, Mal, Simon. Who marries who? How do they decide? What's the first week like? Etc. (I don't care about the other pairings except it has to be Mal/Simon).

"We need to do _what_?" Jayne shouted, pounding his fists on the table.

"Wait, what do you mean 'Marriage Law'?" Kaylee asked. "As in, we all have to get married? To each other?"

Mal sighed and nodded, looking straight down at the table where his crew all sat, looking dumbstruck. He couldn't remember the last time the room had been this tense, probably when he had explained the last dangerous mission he had led them on. Which seemed to be coming on even more quickly as of late.

"Yeah, 's the general gist of it all. Seems they've deemed twenty-four as the ripe old age to accept nuptials, and since all of us is, well, at least this old, we've all got to if we want to step foot on solid earth."

"Except the little girl." River's voice broke through the din, smiling sweetly. "But everyone needs a pair, one for one, two for two, and that means she must play with the big people, too."

"What?" Jayne asked, and the whole of Serenity rolled its eyes.

"Well, it's just for awhile, I suppose," Simon said, shrugging. "It's not like it has to mean anything. After all, it rarely does, out here."

Everybody stared at the doctor for a moment before Zoe got up and left the kitchen, wordless, with Kaylee right at her ankles. A blessing that Kaylee did, because Mal knew that, if it hadn't been Kaylee it would have had to be him, and he wasn't sure how to deal with emotions and Zoe.

"Brother needs to watch out, might choke on his own ankles," River hissed harshly.

Jayne shook his head and pointed a thumb in Simon's direction.

"I'm not marrying him, even if he is flexible enough to get his ankles anywhere near his mouth."

Mal sighed and rubbed the heels of his hands to his eyes. He didn't have a good feeling about this at all.

 

When Simon really took the time to think about it, he knew that he should be thankful for the technology that was available to his generation. They had colonized planets, which was something unheard of only centuries before. He could enjoy space travel which was, again, something relatively new in the eyes of history.

Which is why there really should have been a better way to decide who would have to marry whom.

"So, matching colored dots, you're married," Kaylee explained, face flushed. She held the silver bag in her hand as far away from her body as possible as though it carried a deadly disease.

The crew slowly stepped forward, hands reaching forward.

"Why do we gotta do this again?" Jayne's voice made them all jump backwards again, and a voice in Simon's head actually agreed with the insane mercenary for the first time.

"Cause we gotta, now just reach your hand into that bag there and pick," Mal barked, even though everybody knew that he was just as tentative to be paired off as the rest of them.

"So why don't you put your hand into that bag there, Captain?" Jayne challenged. Simon had to bite back a chuckle as, all eyes on the captain, Mal did just that, making Jayne's face fall.

Mal looked down at his piece of paper, unfolded it, and turned it around so everybody could clearly see the brightly colored dot in the middle of the piece of paper.

"Green," he said simply, then, "go on."

Everybody save Kaylee sighed, shuffled forward and took turns grabbing the pieces of paper from the bag. Finally, Kaylee blushed, snuck a quick peep at Simon, and took the last remaining slip out of her silver bag.

Simon knew what the look was, because he had been feeling it too. Their breakup had been messy enough, it would be torture to be stuck with her for the rest of their lives, or at least until this marriage law was lifted.

But she had her paper, and Simon realized everybody was looking at him. They all had their slips open, and with a quick look he saw that Kaylee had been paired with Zoe and, even more troubling, River had been paired with Jayne.

Which left.

Simon's fingers shook as they unfolded the thin sheet in his hands, even though he already knew what he would find there.

And there it was, the green dot. And, when he looked up, there were Mal's eyes, unreadable, but with some emotion there that Simon couldn't define.

This was going to be interesting indeed.

 

"So what are the rules of this here marriage?" Jayne asked to the mostly-quiet room. Kaylee bit her lip and looked at Zoe briefly, then looked back down again at the floor. Zoe was across the room, as far away as possible from Kaylee, which made her heart hurt a little even though she had never exactly felt a hankering to marry the woman or anything. But still.

It felt good to see that Simon and the captain were in similar positions. In fact, the only couple that was, well, coupled were River and Jayne, and even then it looked as though Jayne was doing his best to move away from the advancing girl.

"How do you mean?" the captain asked after clearing his throat, and Kaylee could swear there was a distinct redness creeping up his neck.

"Like do we gotta… sleep together? Literally, like, in the same bed? Exchange shit?" Jayne went on, waving his hands in the air, practically leaning out of his chair in an attempt to get away from River, who was basically sitting in his lap.

"Not if I can help it," Simon growled with that special tone in his voice that used to both scare and thrill Kaylee. She shivered, then looked at Mal, who looked just a bit hurt at this comment, because of course he would take it personally and not realize that Simon was talking about his little sister.

"Hey, Fancy Boy, I'm not the one putting the moves on me," Jayne returned with a smirk. Simon got up from his chair, ready to fight, Kaylee knew. She put a hand out on his arm to stop him. He looked at her, sighed, and sat back down.

"The notice ain't said nothing about, well, consummating nothin', just that we had to be officially married and all. Exchange something wearable, file paperwork and all that. They ain't tuckin' us into our bunks, though, so we are safe at that." Mal paused, and Kaylee watched as his eyes finally rested on Simon.

"It's a good thing we got you two those fake identities," he said, but his voice was too-quiet for Kaylee to not begin to wonder about them, about their marriage, to become jealous. She looked around the room to see if anybody else had noticed, but, of course, just like always, everybody was too self-involved to see what was right in front of their faces.

It was pretty much how things went around there.

 

There is no nighttime in space, of course, not without rotation and orbiting and suns and moons and everything associated with the passage of time. Still, the crew kept on the standard twenty-four hour clock, and Serenity seemed to know this. Zoe had gotten used to it, how the boat seemed to shut down at some point, the crew all gone to their bunks, the work waiting to be done. It used to be her time with Wash, their "Us Time," when they could lay together and whisper to each other. He would run his fingers up and down her leg, and she would hold onto his shoulders. He was surprisingly solid, steadfast, and she loved him more than words could say.

But she had almost gotten to the point where she could forget this for the sake of the crew. Almost. And then it was gone, and she was just feelings.

Zoe roamed across the boat, towards the other bunks. She stopped in front of Kaylee's, with its decorated latch. She had been in there, a few times. She knew it was like the girl - adorable and energetic and comfortable.

She was Zoe's wife. Or she would be, whenever they all sent in the paperwork, exchanged whatever it was they had to exchange. Zoe still liked to believe that it was temporary, because she had promised herself that she would never marry again.

Still, for some reason there was the tug there to go down, to lay next to her friend, her new wife. Zoe didn't need sex, didn't need anybody.

Still, she stood there, looking at Kaylee's door for a good while before going back to her bunk. It would be a long night.

 

Mal was up for almost an hour past when he wanted to sleep, when he would normally sleep. And, if he would be honest with himself, it was much longer, because the hour didn't count the much longer time that he spent laying in his bed, trying to forget and go to sleep. It didn't count the tossing and turning, the checking to make sure that it was still there, then the long stretches where he would force himself to not-think, not-feel, just try and let the darkness overtake him and his dreams flow over him.

The only thing the hour covered was Mal's frantic movements about his cabin, looking in every nook and cranny the room had to offer, before finally finding it. It was in a little, carved box that his mother had given him, that used to belong her her.

"I kind of wanted a girl," she had said to him. "But I reckon you can use this, to keep things in."

She had blushed and stuttered for a moment until Mal had hugged her, smiling into her neck.

And he did use it, to keep things. A letter he had written to his mom but never sent. A piece of metal that an officer above him had given him during the war. A flower he had picked after his first date.

But most importantly, a ring that he had taken from his mother's drawer. He knew it used to belong to his father, which is why he had taken it in the first place. It was simple, heavy, deep yellow to the point of almost being brown. And he loved it.

Which is why it was perfect.

 

Jayne had a rule: never have relations with girls that are ugly, needy, or crazy.

Except he found himself breaking two of them, because, especially up-close, River, he found, was not ugly.

"Girl wants to be a woman," she said, her hips moving in his lap in a way that made Jayne's head spin. "And this is what a wife does."

"It aint official yet," Jayne moaned, his head arched back on his pillow. Where did she learn this?

"So this is dirty," she whispered in his ear.

Yeah. Jayne could get used to being married to needy, crazy girls. Or not-married. It was all shiny to him.


	2. Chapter 2

_When Simon and River were kids, they used to set one day aside to be together. Simon hated it, of course, because he had better things to do than hang out with his genius sister and feel inferior._

_"What will be do today, brother?" she would ask, bouncing on her heels. She had always been easily excitable._

_"I don't know," he would mumble. He was always irritated by this song and dance, this routine, this sham of a relationship._

_Sometimes he wished she would just disappear._

 

Simon awoke with a shiver, a feeling that something wasn't right.

"River?" he called out, quickly sitting up in bed. He reached out and opened the door to his sister's bunk as his heart raced wildly. She could have been taken. She could have been hurt. Her innocence could have been taken by that scoundrel, and that was something he would never forgive.

"Brother? What?" River asked groggily, the annoyance clear in her voice. Simon breathed a deep sigh of relief as he looked at his sister. She was whole, right there, nothing to worry about.

"I had a bad feeling," he said, smiling at her.

River rolled her eyes and pulled the blanket back over her face.

"Silly brother, can't let his past go, can't enjoy now, can't leave his sister alone," she mumbled.

"Wait, what did you say?" Simon asked. River sighed, threw her covers off of herself, and stared him in the eyes.

"I'm not who I used to be. You are not who you used to be. Let me go, let you go, stop making my head hurt!" Then, quickly, she reached forward and closed her door in his face.

Simon sat for awhile, looking at the closed door, before getting up and heading to the kitchen. He had a lot to think about, too much, and he might as well have assistance in waking up to do it.

Surprisingly, Mal was already there. Simon watched wearily as the other man fumbled his mug for a moment, looking startled by Simon's very presence. Still, he recovered quickly, and plastered a smile on his face.

"Mornin', Doctor," Mal said, a bit too cheerily. His brow furrowed, and he coughed a bit into his left hand.

"Why aint you wearin' a shirt?"

Simon looked down at himself and felt the heat of a blush work its way up to the tips of his ears.

"Oh, uh," he stammered, unable to look at Mal. "I just. Forgot. Just woke up."

"Aint nothin' to redden for, Doctor. Somethin' to drink?" Simon could hear the grin in Mal's face.

Simon silently nodded and sat down at the table. There were a few cups left on the table. He took the closest one and pushed it back and forth in his hands as he waited. Mal came over and poured him their standard morning drink before sitting down himself.

They sat in silence for quite awhile while drinking before Simon couldn't stand the silence anymore, especially as he couldn't tell if it was comfortable or not.

"So are we, uh, getting married later?" Simon asked, finally daring himself to look Mal in the eyes. Just keeping it to business.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Mal said. "When everyone's up, I guess."

Simon nodded. He drained his cup and got up to leave, to finally put a shirt on. He could have sworn that he had caught Mal looking at his chest quite a few times, which was a preposterous notion. Just because they were being forced to marry each other didn't mean that Mal was attracted to him. Or that he was attracted to Mal. Of course.

"Hey, Simon," Mal called out just as Simon reached the doorway. Simon turned around reluctantly, not eager to lengthen their awkward morning together.

Mal was fumbling in his pocket. Simon watched as the captain pulled out a ring. It was obviously old and heavy, but Simon could feel, even from here, the love that it carried, the memories.

His eyes widened as Mal stepped forward and silently look Simon's hand in his own, slipping the ring onto Simon's finger. It fit. He smiled.

"Good, I was worried it wouldn't fit," he said, looking up into Simon's face. "What with your dainty fingers n'all."

Simon stammered, staring at his finger. He couldn't admit it out loud, but the ring looked very good on his hand.

"I don't have anything like this to give to you," he whispered, quickly thinking of everything he had. What could he make in the next few minutes for Mal?

"Ain't nothin'," Mal said, grinning. "These ain't proper circumstances, don't require nothin' proper. I was just lucky enough to have this."

"It wouldn't be fair," Simon said, looking into Mal's eyes. A mistake, he thought, as he watched something crumble in Mal's eyes, something significant.

"Simon, I wouldn't give you nothin' if I wanted somethin' in return. Not anything like this." He patted Simon's hand and dropped it, stepping backwards. "Now maybe you should be thinkin' 'bout coverin' up your chest."

Simon watched Mal leave, eyes stuck determinedly on Mal's head. When he was gone, Simon turned and ran to look through all of his things, the whole time hearing Mal saying Simon's name in his head. He had to have something to give to Mal.

Finally, in one of the last drawers in his infirmary, a piece of metal. Perfect, he thought, as he used the counter to help it make it into a circle. Perfect.

 

Kaylee smiled down at the creation in her hand. Out in the deep there wasn't much she could do in the way of making a ring, which required a lot of skill and a lot of patience if you didn't want it to look like _go se_.

Thankfully, Kaylee had a lot of pretty things left that Inara had given her. Things with beads and danglies and shiny things that made Kaylee happy to see them, on her walls, made her feel expensive and beautiful.

Still, she was too happy to take a few of them down, strip off the beads, and fashion them into a bracelet. It was beautiful, if she did say so herself. The light in her bunk hit it in a way that made it look very handsome indeed, lights deflecting off of the glass and reflecting on her walls.

She knew Zoe would love it. Or, at least, she hoped so.

As it turned out, her idea of making things was something unheard of among the rest of the crew. The crew finally met in the cockpit later that day to send off their applications for marriage; while there, the couples seemed to be exchanging their gifts to each other while they waited. She watched silently, next to Zoe for the first time in almost a whole day, as River put a beautiful necklace, obviously something Simon had kept from her childhood, around Jayne's neck. Surprisingly, Jayne teared up and hugged the little girl close to his chest. When he pulled back, he was still choking up, and Kaylee heard his voice break as he began to speak.

"River, I want you to have my hat," he said, choking up. From his back pocket, out came that hideous orange hat. River grinned, took it, and pulled it onto her head.

"Beautiful, shining gifts from above," she said, clinging to his arm.

The only other person who made something seemed to be a failure. Simon tried to fit a small piece of metal onto Mal's finger.

Mal just smiled in return, pulled a string out of his pocket, put the ring on the string, and tied it around his own neck.

"See? It works," he said. Simon just turned around and typed in the information, sending it off. Husband and husband, and Kaylee's heart only hurt a little bit.

When it was Kaylee's turn, though, she became nervous. The bracelet was the best she could do, but it seemed like it wasn't enough, especially when Zoe handed over a ring that she knew had been Zoe's own wedding band.

"Oh, Zoe," Kaylee breathed as the ring was slipped onto her finger. "It's so... you didn't hav'ta."

Zoe laughed and entwined their fingers, squeezing her hand in comfort.

"My turn," she said quietly. The younger girl blushed and pulled the bracelet out of her pocket.

"All I did was make you somethin'. It ain't much."

Zoe shook her head and put the bracelet on. A perfect fit.

"I love it," she said, pulling Kaylee into a hug. The first hug she had ever gotten from Zoe, and it only felt better when Zoe punctuated it with a soft kiss to Kaylee's hair.

The feeling couldn't get any better, even when they officially sent off the information that made them, officially, wife and wife.

She was somebody's wife. And, unsurprisingly, it was a good feeling.

 

Getting married was the best thing Jayne had ever done, he thought. It was a lot like being unmarried, except he could always count on a hot body in his bed at night to warm him up, somebody was always there to wake him up with breakfast, and, best of all, River still let him wear his hat sometimes.

Still, he couldn't deny that it was a good feeling to see an orange ball bouncing around the boat all day. Gave him a warm feeling in his stomach that he couldn't ignore, and he didn't mind. He liked the feeling.

The worst part was that River always left right after they were done for the night, which was a shame, because the after-part was nice, too, but he never really got to enjoy it. They would lay there for a moment and she would kiss his shoulders and he would hold her waist, and then she would be gone, putting her clothes on again.

"You ain't gotta leave," he said every night, the same.

"Brother can't understand some things, husband. Needs a safety net."

And Jayne nodded, every night the same. He didn't understand, but he never really understood her, even if she was a sweet thing underneath the crazy.

But she would come back, kiss him, and tell him what she was going to make him in the morning. Jayne would smile, pull her back into bed with him, and kiss her for awhile before finally letting her go.

It was nice to have a nighttime ritual, Jayne thought. Especially when he didn't have to do much.

 

Being married was horrible, Simon thought. Or, at least, having to live with his married sister and her husband was horrible.

After the first week he had caught River and Jayne kissing somewhere out in the open seventeen times, and it was driving him crazy. She was just a little girl, and Jayne was an older man, who was rough and angry and probably wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Simon felt better when he woke up and could hear River breathing in the bunk next to his, which made him feel a lot better about how far the relationship between his sister and Jayne had gone, but still. There was something wrong about it.

He used to be able to go to Kaylee to talk about whatever was bothering him, but now her priorities had changed, too.

"She's just so distracted. Pass me the wrench, Simon?" Kaylee said one day as she worked on Serenity. "I worry 'bout her. Gotta be hard, being married again, so soon after Wash. I wouldn' be able to, but she's strong."

Simon only nodded, waiting for her to quiet down so he himself could talk about his own problems, or "vexations," as Kaylee liked to call them.

"I just wish she would open up to me," she said. A grunt, and Simon could feel under his feet more of a smoothness. Kaylee grinned and looked at him. "Now I know you felt that."

"You're good," Simon said, smiling at her. He missed her, her easy grin, how she worried about everybody. She was a good wife, and it made his heart hurt a little if he thought about it. So he didn't. Usually.

Kaylee just bit her lip and sat back on her haunches.

"So how's it bein' married to the captain?" she asked with another grin. Simon's own smile faltered. The truth was, it was its own vexation. Simon could swear he had caught the captain staring at him many times, more times than he had caught Jayne kissing his sister, which troubled him to no end. It had been easy to say that the marriage didn't have to mean anything, but Mal had given him something that obviously meant a lot to him, had always been in the kitchen with some drink to give to Simon in the morning, was always smiling at him, making sure he had enough medical supplies. In case anything happened.

Except the worst part was that Simon had caught himself staring at Mal a few times, and not just at the back of his head.

Thankfully, a crash came from nearby, loud enough to make Simon and Kaylee jump up and run out to the main docking area to make sure nothing serious had happened.

Eighteen.

" _Wuh de ma_!" Simon shouted, running at Jayne. "What are you doing to my sister?"

"Grown up, Simon!" River said, sitting up, but not getting off of Jayne. "Doing what I want!"

"You can't want him," Simon pointed out logically.

"You wanna go, Doctor Man?" Jayne asked breathlessly from somewhere near Simon's knees.

"Simon, you're overreacting," Kaylee cajoled. "They're married now."

"Don't remind me," Simon growled, rolling his eyes.

"Any problems down here?"

Simon looked up. Mal was standing there with Zoe, looking down at the mess that was Simon's life.

"No problems, Cap'n," Kaylee shouted up to them cheerfully. "Simon and I was _just._   _Leaving_."

She punctuated the last two words with punches to Simon's arm. He grunted and allowed Kaylee to drag him out of the room, all the while hearing the soft sniggers from above his head.

Married life was pretty horrible.

 

Kaylee had just laid down that night when she heard a soft knocking at her door. She sighed. Serenity had been a trouble to fix that day, had been arguing with her softly in the machine language only she knew, and Kaylee was exhausted and didn't particularly want to listen to Simon's complaining anymore.

So she just lay there, quietly trying to come up with something to say to Simon to get him to go away. Then, there was a body by hers, and it was definitely not Simon's.

"I couldn't sleep," Zoe whispered in Kaylee's ear. "Just go back to sleep."


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Zoe registered when she woke up was that there was a warm body next to hers. The second thing was that it was the first time in almost a year and a half. But it was the third thing that got to her, when she realized that the body didn't belong to Wash, but to Kaylee.

She softly grunted and rolled over, planning to get out of bed, until a hand reached back and took hers.

"Zoe?"

Zoe cringed and settled back down.

"You can go back to sleep, Kaylee," she whispered, silently pleading with the girl to let go of her hand. She needed to go somewhere until this burning in her eyes went away.

"Wasn't 'sleep, Zoe," Kaylee mumbled, starting to turn around. "Was just waitin' for you to be awake so I could get up without messin' you up or nothin'."

 _No no no_ , Zoe silently pleaded, but Kaylee looked into her eyes anyway and saw the tears that were waiting to fall.

Kaylee gasped and sat up straight, pulling Zoe up with her.

"Sweetie! What's wrong?"

Zoe shook her head, but then there were her tears. Silently, slowly, she let her head fall forward to rest on Kaylee's shoulder.

"Maybe I'm betraying him," she whispered. There was a lot more to say, so much more to say, so many emotions that couldn't be shared, wouldn't be shared. But for now, it was enough, because it made Kaylee throw her arms around Zoe and hold her close. Zoe just sobbed even louder, bringing her arms to cling at Kaylee's shoulders.

"I love you," Kaylee whispered, brushing the hair out of Zoe's face.

"You're just saying that," Zoe whispered hoarsely, hating the smell of her own breath hitting her nostrils, hating the sound of her own voice coming into her ears, "because you're my wife."

"No I ain't," Kaylee whispered back, and Zoe could tell without looking that the girl was smiling. "Sayin' it cause it's true, cause you're my friend."

And it was true. And, Zoe found, it was almost enough.

"I have things I need to do," she whispered into Kaylee once she was calmed enough.

"Fuck it," Kaylee said brightly, squeezing Zoe's arm. "You take care of us, but who takes care of you, huh?"

Wash, she thought, and choked back more sobs. Then, Kaylee.

When she finally sat back, she saw the tears that were in Kaylee's eyes, too. Her burden was gone, or at least part of it was, shared, with Kaylee. She felt bad, until she was able to see the joy in Kaylee's eyes, too. And Zoe knew that maybe, just maybe, she could recover.

"I think I have to lay down," she whispered with a smile. Kaylee nodded and laid down herself. She patted the spot next to her and smiled up at Zoe.

"We don't gotta go nowheres for awhile," she said. Zoe smiled back and laid down next to Kaylee, her wife, her friend.

They didn't get up for awhile. She knew that they were probably speculating about it, Jayne, mostly, about what they were doing in there. But she knew that River would know, would understand.

Sometimes you didn't need a lover's touch, just a friend's love.

 

They needed more supplies that day. The kitchen had been running dangerously low and, even though there hadn't been any serious injury in awhile, Simon knew there were a few things that he could use more of.

"Zoe n' Kaylee's the only ones can go right now," Mal said that morning to him at breakfast.

"I thought our new identities were secure," Simon said, furrowing his brow. That is what the seller had said about them, that anybody could be anybody with his stolen identities.

"They are, but what with the new law 'n all there's Alliance creepin' all over places they ain't never been before. Can't risk them recognizin' you. And we gotta touch down as soon as possible, so we can't be picky."

Simon nodded and stared into his cup. The Marriage Law was nothing but a pain in Simon's life, and he honestly couldn't understand its purpose.

"Unless," Mal began. Simon looked up expectantly, his mouth slightly open.

"Unless you feel like dressin' like a lady. I still got some pretty fits somewheres, and I'm sure the fine ladies on board wouldn' mind lendin' you some."

Simon scowled at Mal and looked down into his cup.

"You'd be mighty fine," Mal continued, the teasing clear in his voice. "You already have the pretty face, pretty hands. Why, you're already a woman, ain't'ya, Simon? Been hidin' somethin' from your captain?"

Simon, surprisingly, couldn't hold back a laugh. He quickly disguised it as a cough and drank deeply from his cup.

This being married to Mal thing was getting harder by the minute.

When Kaylee and Zoe finally emerged, which took surprisingly long, they just nodded and got themselves something to eat, then left again, together. Of course, the same happened with River and Jayne, who just nodded that they wouldn't be leaving the ship. Normally, Simon knew that this would be information that would make Jayne howl in dismay, ask why he couldn't go out anyway, but instead he just smiled and nodded. River squeezed Jayne's arm and dragged him out of the room, which made Simon want to throw something. Just because they were married didn't mean they had to act on it.

Though, admittingly, it was only by a thread recently that he was able to avoid jumping Mal and consummating their marriage wherever they were. Which was a troubling thought, and not one that he liked.

Much.

 

The market was busy and crowded, despite the Alliance crawling about. Kaylee looked in awe; the shopkeepers that would normally have put out nothing special had thrown their biggest, most special items out in the front of everything. She grinned widely as she fingered the train on an especially beautiful dress out in front of a woman's clothing store.

"Oh, if I were a lady, I would wear this," she whispered, resisting the want to brush her face against the smooth material. She didn't want to risk getting it dirty, it was too beautiful for that.

Still, she turned away from it, only to see Zoe looking at it like she was actually thinking of buying the thing.

"Hey, what was it that Simon needed again?" she asked, to distract Zoe. The older woman looked up, and Kaylee could see the calculations at work in Zoe's mind.

"I remember. Let's find it," she said.

Kaylee breathed a sigh of relief. They wouldn't be able to afford that dress, and where would she wear it anyway?

Zoe's hand reached out and grabbed Kaylee's. Kaylee almost jumped, but then relaxed and just walked with Zoe, her friend, her wife.

 

River gasped, smiling, at Jayne's touch.

"No more!" she giggled, but secretly she reveled in his fingers on her. He shook his head and his hands moved more, more furiously.

"Jayne," River pleaded, arching her back. It hurt, and she felt that she would die, that she really couldn't take anymore. She couldn't breathe, but at the same time she didn't want him to stop.

Paradoxes. Things that shouldn't exist but do. Was she a paradox?

Too much, not enough. Too much, not enough. Fickle.

After a few moments, Jayne pulled back and conceded, coming back up to her face to kiss her, right at the corner of her mouth.

"It was just ticklin'," he whispered against her mouth.

"I know what you want," River said as she kissed him back, letting her arms rest around his neck. Posessive, wanting, promising. "Want what is usually saved for night, away from bear's eyes."

"Mmm," Jayne hummed. He pulled back and grinned. "Yeah, yeah I do."

"Things are more special if you save it," she said, pulling him back in for more kisses. It was her favorite part. Well, second favorite.

"That's why I'm not takin' you jus' yet," Jayne said. River smiled at this, pressed her body closer to him.

"Now I want it more," she groaned, now wrapping her legs around him. She shivered as his fingers gripped at her thighs. The prince finally coming to rescue his princess, again, for the twenty-second time. But when he didn't do much more, she knew she would have to resort to drastic measures.

"Take me, or I'll throw your hat into space," she whispered against his neck. Ghost kisses with her breath, with an added spice of malice.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. She was serious.

"Gorram it, I was trying to be romantic," he grunted as he struggled with his britches. She laughed and helped him, her whole body shaking.

This, this part. This was her favorite.

 

"It bothers you, don' it?" Mal asked point-blank. Simon's head snapped up at Mal's words. He had been careful, right? Mal couldn't have known what Simon had been thinking.

"What?" he asked intelligently, running his now-sweaty palm down his pants.

"Your sister bein' married. To Jayne."

"Oh," Simon breathed. "Yeah."

"Well, she had to get married sometime. And so did you. You two ain't like the rest of us, was meant for somethin', I don't know, proper. Better."

Mal sighed after this and leaned back in the pilot's seat. They had been sitting in the cockpit, looking quietly at the goings on in the marketplace beneath them.

"Maybe one time," Simon finally conceded. "But we aren't better than anybody else, we're just, just people."

Simon felt rather than heard Mal shake his head.

"Ain't true. You two are better'n them, better'n me. Even from the outside. You can tell, from your gorram pretty faces."

Simon looked at Mal, his heart pounding. And then, Mal was getting up, closing the distance. Simon just sat in the chair, trying to be swallowed whole into it, trembling, as Mal leaned forward, cupped Simon's face in his hand, and kissed him softly.

Simon sighed against Mal's lips, but didn't respond. Mal's mouth was hot and dry against his and moved subtly. But then it was gone, and Simon knew why.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Mal shook his head, licked his lips, and sat back down in the captain's chair.

He didn't say another word. Eventually, it was Simon who got up and left, chased away by the guilt of what he didn't do, what he couldn't give.

Some husband he was.

 

That night, the same as the night before, Zoe climbed down into Kaylee's bunk to sleep in her bed. Except, this time, she came right with Kaylee, making the mechanic smile.

They dressed into their sleep clothes with backs turned to each other, which was for the best because Kaylee didn't feel like blushing all over the place. This new turn in their relationship--that is, being married and all--had made her happier, comfortable, and she didn't want that to change.

They laid down the same as the night before, with Zoe holding her from behind. Kaylee could feel all of Zoe behind her, her strong, toned legs, her taut stomach, her firm breasts. Suddenly, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed about the state of herself, all wrong in the middle, not enough up top, not nearly as healthy and attractive.

"I wanted to buy you that dress today," Zoe finally whispered into Kaylee's hair, holding her closer.

"I don't need nothin'," Kaylee said in what she hoped was a reassuring way. "It was pretty, but where was I gonna wear it, huh?"

Zoe just breathed against Kaylee's shoulder.

"Thank you," she said finally.

Kaylee just laughed, grabbing one of Zoe's hands and squeezing it.

"No, I ain't done nothin'," she whispered.

Zoe just shook her head and drew closer to Kaylee. Eventually, her breathing let Kaylee know what she was asleep.

And then, finally, Kaylee could fall asleep, too.

 

"You're pretty," Jayne whispered. River didn't say anything in response, just bit her lip and kept her hips rocking, gasping in time with his thrusts.

The sweat was sliding off her body onto his, something that Jayne found dead sexy. He arched back and kept on pushing into her as best as he could. She was doing most of the work, obviously, being on top of him and all, which was something he might have minded if it wasn't River.

Her hair was damp, curly, and swinging in her face from under the orange hat. He took one hand off of her hip and pushed it back, out of her face. She smiled and pushed her cheek into his palm as she kept on rocking.

"Feel like falling," she whimpered.

"I'm keeping you up," he said, not knowing exactly why he said it, but knowing that he meant it.

He was still needy, still wanted her, and he still wanted it fast. And when he finally did release inside her, it was after she had already found hers, so he knew he didn't have to worry about her.

She slumped down onto his body, stroking his chest with her fingers so little.

"Don't want to leave," she said, pressing her lips into his collarbone. He took the hat off of her head and placed it on his own. Jayne felt the laughter against his chest, and then she took the hat back, pulling it down far on her head.

"So stay," Jayne whispered, pushing her hair back again.

And, for once, she listened. Eventually, her breathing evened out, and she was asleep on his chest. He lay there for awhile, listening to her, the hat tickling his chin, until he, too, eventually slipped away into the dark.

 

Simon couldn't sleep that night. And it wasn't even just the fact that River never came to her bunk. He had always fallen asleep without her there, but this time he felt the need to stay up, to maybe say something to her, make sure she was okay.

But after a few hours of reading, he realized that it was very late and that she was never coming.

And also, that he had been reading the same page twenty times over. And not just because he was thinking about River.

Simon sighed and got up, pulling a shirt on as he did. Before he knew it, he was at Jayne's bunk.

He pressed his ear to the door, expecting to hear loud squeaking, grunting, and curses against Simon.

Instead, he just heard gentle breathing.

Sighing, he went on, stopping at Kaylee's bunk. Maybe he would talk to her.

Except, when he pressed his ear against this door, there was the same thing. Zoe must have been in there, too.

He stood there, biting his lip. He knew where he needed to go, but he wasn't sure that he could do it.

"Shit," he muttered as he turned and ran.

 

 

Mal stared into the ceiling of his bunk, yelling at himself inside his head.

Of course Simon wouldn't kiss him back. Simon was too perfect, too above him, too everything. He probably wasn't even attracted to menfolk. Not that Mal was, usually. But you didn't exactly meet a Simon Tam every day, and Mal would have been a fool to not have at least tried.

Mal was a fool, anyway.

The intercom came to life, suddenly, crackling.

"Are you awake?"

Simon. Mal scrambled to the intercom and pressed the buttom.

"Simon?"

"Can I come down?"

Mal sighed and pulled some pants on. This was a very, very bad idea.

"Yeah, here," Mal's voice said. He pressed the button to open the latch, and soon there was Simon, staring at him.

"You can sit down, too," Mal said, clearing his throat. Simon just shook his head and looked at the ground for a moment.

"Where did you get this ring?" he asked, finally. Mal's eyes opened wide.

"Oh, well, it was my father's," Mal replied. He smiled and looked at his own hands. "Never knew him, really, just had this. Found it in my mother's drawer. Not sure she knew I took it, but, I don't know, felt good to have it."

And then, suddenly, there was Simon, kneeling on the ground in front of him. He ran his hands up Mal's legs, finally resting on his thighs, making the captain shiver.

"I think it's time we, you know," Simon whispered. "Consummate our marriage."

Mal closed his eyes. Of course this was exactly what he wanted, but not exactly how he wanted it.

"You didn't even kiss me earlier," he said. Mal could hear the emotion thick in his voice. "Why now?"

Simon flinched, but Mal never felt his eyes leave Mal's face.

"I should have kissed you the moment I met you," he said, pushing up on his knees. Mal looked into Simon's face, put his own hands on either side of it.

"That hurt, you know," Mal whispered as he drew his face closer to Simon's.

"Let me make up for it," he said. Then their lips were together, and it was everything Mal had been wanting.


	4. Chapter 4

Mal's touch was hot--too hot, almost. Simon shivered into his touch and, _yeah, right there_ , and _why did I wait so long to do this_?

His tongue was in his mouth, exploring, and Simon decided that this was definitely the best feeling in the world. He pushed himself up, onto his knees and closer to Mal, digging his fingers into Mal's thighs until the other man hissed.

Mal chuckled after this and pulled away, burying his head into Simon's neck. He groaned and the vibrations unexpectedly warmed Simon deep in his stomache. Mal finally looked up and moved his hands back to cup Simon's face, thumb rubbing gently.

"Hey," he said, looking Simon straight in the eye. "We have all night."

Simon shook his head and pressed back into Mal again. When he pulled back, it was just to push Mal back and climb onto the bed to straddle his captain.

"I can't wait any longer," he explained. His fingers were clumsy as they moved to unbutton everything that kept him from feeling, really feeling, Mal. "Besides that, we're husbands. We can be slow tomorrow night, or the next night, or the next night."

He flicked his eyes up to Mal's face for a moment to see if his words had any impact. They did. Mal was smiling, and Simon felt hands move from his shoulders to his waist, keeping Simon upright. Simon bit the inside of his cheek and looked back down at his own hands, which had been unbuttoning the same button for forever.

Of course he would be the blushing bride, he thought, as the flush crept up his neck to the tips of his ears. It only intensified when he finished with Mal's shirt, which he quickly pushed aside so that he could lean down and kiss at Mal's chest.

Before Simon realized it, the rest of their clothes are off, scattered around the vicinity of Mal's bed. Their mouths met again as Mal reached down and took both of their erections into one hand. Except it wasn't enough, not exactly, so Simon reached down to wrap around the rest of the two of them, his fingers interlocking with Mal's just a bit.

Simon tried to look into Mal's eyes, but when they started stroking he couldn't anymore; his knees buckled on the mattress, threatening to slip, as his head fell forward and rested on Mal's chest. He groaned out loud and forced his mind to keep his hand moving, still stroking in time with Mal's.

When Mal finally came, it wasn't with any loud praises, interjections. They hadn't been rocking furiously together, making the entire boat move with them as if they were in the ocean. They had only been panting together, chests rising and falling together, hands moving together, until Mal tensed for a moment and, finally, released.

"Yeah," Mal sighed as he came. Simon thought about this later, rolling it over and over in his mind. He would have been taken aback, but would have appreciated a shout of his own name just the same. Even some good-old Chinese sayings, which Mal was very good at making up, would have been more appropriate.

Still, he was finally able to reconcile with the "yeah," as, Simon thought, it felt like a "finally," like an "okay, I can do this."

This he thought later, when they were wrapped around each other, breaths even, finally, and when he was two moments away from sleep. In the moment, however, he simply gasped and came very soon after Mal, thinking, "finally," and "okay, I can do this."

 

Foreign surroundings, River thought when she woke up. Not enemy territory, but foreign, not where I should be, not where I am meant to be.

She thought about Simon for a moment, about how his face would be if he found them here. Her legs mingling with Jayne's. Her hair across his chest. The hat still on her head, symbol of their union. Everything was a symbol, everything was meaningful and meant something new, different, more than meets the eye.

Not where she was supposed to be, she thought. No, in fact, exactly where she was supposed to be.

Jayne snorted in his sleep and a rumble passed through his chest, making her head rise and fall with his. Then, his breathing evened out again, and she stopped gripping his hand so tightly.

How it should be, she thought. Not enemy territory.

 

She's still going, Kaylee thought when she woke up. Serenity was still chugging along, and so was Kaylee.

Behind her, Zoe's face was pressed tightly into Kaylee's shoulder. There was a wet patch, so she knew that Zoe had cried sometime that night. But Kaylee wasn't too worried, not anymore, because she knew that Zoe would talk to her about it if she needed to.

She stretched her legs and closed her eyes again as a yawn overtook her.

Still chugging along, she thought as she fell asleep again, wondering how she ever slept without somebody else next to her.

 

Mal didn't think anything when he woke up, just felt the warm body next to his. He smiled and shifted to be closer, squeezing the hand that was in his.

"So this is how girls feel," Simon muttered.

"What?" Mal asked intelligently as he pressed kisses to Simon's warm shoulder. He had always liked other peoples' skin; the feel, taste, smell.

In response, Simon sighed and pressed backwards, bringing his ass into contact with Mal's-

 _Oh_.

Mal stilled for a moment, then chuckled.

"It's a compliment?"

Simon laughed and, Mal was sure, rolled his eyes.

So, of course, Mal did something to make those eyes roll, but not with that attitude, no matter how sexy it was.

 

Dinner that night was good, for the first time since Jayne could remember.

"Thanks," he muttered around a mouthful of food. Kaylee made a face and looked at her own food like it was inedible. Zoe stared at him pointedly in that way that usually made him squirm, even if he would never admit it.

"Jayne," she said warningly as a bit of the casserole dribbled out of his mouth and back onto his plate. He pushed that bit aside with his fork and dug back into the food, real food, thank the 'Verse.

River just squeezed his hand under the table and smiled at him. At least somebody appreciated his gratitude. He didn't even mind when she used her other hand to feed herself the messy food. Not much, anyway. Next time he would say something, probably.

"So did the wives make this food?" he asked, grinning up at the females at the table.

They rolled their eyes and went back to their food.

"So which of you two is the wife and which is the husband?" Jayne asked, eyeing Kaylee and Zoe. Who hadn't had sex, he's sure, even if that was a picture worth looking at.

"Jayne," Kaylee said this time, not even looking him in the eye.

"Ooh, and which of you two?" he asked, turning to the doc' and the captain, who, he finally realized, had not said a word all evening. They obviously hadn't even been paying attention to him, to the dinner, to anything. They are too busy pretending to not notice each other.

He gurgled a bit and the last remaining food in his mouth dribbled onto his plate.

"Jayne!" Zoe gasped, giving him a disgusted look.

"You two had _relations_ , didn't you?" he shouted, pointing a finger at the pair of men.

"Finally, the groom stops pretending and took what he wanted," River said from somewhere to Jayne's left. "But, ew."

Simon glared at Jayne, and Jayne could have sworn that he saw him muttering something dirty under his dirty, doctory, discomforting breath.

"Well," Kaylee said after clearing her breath. "They is married."

"So you two," Jayne said, turning back to face the girls. Yeah, he had thought about them having sex, but.

"No!" Kaylee squeaked, scooting her chair a bit away from Zoe.

"But you two are sleeping in the same room," Simon pointed out. Jayne's head whipped back to the doctor.

"How did you know that?" Kaylee asked, blushing. Jayne's head whipped back to the other two.

"Well, River and Jayne are definitely sleeping together," Zoe pointed out.

"What?" Simon roared, and if they all kept this up Jayne's head would snap off, he was sure. "I thought you two were just bunking together!"

"But you thought we was sleepin' together in that way?" Kaylee's voice rose above the din that had suddenly sprung up. Jayne grimaced and sat back, not knowing which argument to watch.

"My," Mal's voice finally came above everything else. Jayne's head snapped one last time to the captain, who was standing up, fork in hand. The rest of the table quieted down. Mal growled and sat down as well. "My, this is good food. Thank you, Kaylee. Zoe."

The two women nodded and went back to their food.

Jayne looked around the table. Simon was blushing, Mal was trying his best to look neutral, Kaylee looked like she was about to cry, Zoe looked like she could kill things, and River looked like all of these things together.

This was really fucked up, Jayne thought as he went back to his food. Which was, in fact, very good.

 

It took a few weeks for the novelty to wear off. Once they had all accepted that they were all married, that two of the couples were having sex, that all of couples were literally sleeping together, things started to fall into a comfortable pattern. They started accepting jobs again, which was more complicated than Zoe liked. She watched as the emotions settled over her friends, saw them fighting more recklessly and selflessly. She knew what it was; this was what happened when you were married. Everything seemed unimportant save keeping the other person safe.

It meant that the jobs were a bit tamer, sure. But still, Mal fought like they were back on Miranda, like it was something more that he was fighting for. And, really, it was.

Zoe slipped into Kaylee's bed one night. Kaylee shifted until they were both lined up perfectly. Comfortable patterns.

"Are you upset that we don't sleep together?" Zoe asked. Kaylee jumped and sat up.

"No! I mean, it ain't that you ain't pretty or nothin', it's just. I don't think we need…that."

Zoe nodded and smiled.

"You're a good wife, Kaylee," she said.

Kaylee grinned and hugged Zoe tight, squeezing extra-hard like she always did. Zoe loved that about her.

"You're the best friend I ever had," she said into Zoe's shoulder. "I ain't gonna sacrifice that for anything."

Zoe agreed. Eventually, they lay back down and talked for awhile about everything that had happened that day, those weeks, ever since they got married. And just as Zoe was drifting off to sleep, the thought got into her head that maybe, just maybe, Wash would be happy for her.

And, as sleep overtook her, she knew the thought had to be truth.

 

After a few months, Kaylee and Simon began to spend time together again. Mal asked about it once, in one of those dewy, afterglow times.

"So, I noticed you and Kaylee've been, you know, together, sometimes," Mal grunts haltedly. Simon just smiles and is glad that Mal can't see his face.

"She needs help sometimes. I have nothing to do, sometimes."

"So you ain't, you know, thinkin' of leavin' me anytime soon?"

Simon shook his head, turned around and kissed Mal. It was enough of an answer, for them, anyway.

He wasn't really sure why he didn't fancy Kaylee, truth be told. He knew that she was beautiful, because it was a thought that had passed through his mind enough for it to be truth. He knew that she used to love him, that she was nice and soft and every womanly thing but also strong and blunt enough to make Simon smile. But he also knew that he has never loved her, not really, which makes it easier to help her with Serenity when she needs it.

Also, it was always good to have friends. And, if nothing else, Kaylee was happy to be friends with everybody. It was one of the things that he loved about her.

Then, one day, Zoe rushed into the engine room with an excited look on her face, and Simon was scared for a moment that she was going to kiss Kaylee before he rememberd that they don't do that.

"Inara's calling," she whispered. "She's talkin' to the captain right now."

Kaylee grinned as Zoe grabbed her hand and helped her to her feet. They ran off together and Simon followed, his heart racing too-quickly, considering.

He had heard the stories of the last time this happened. Heard that Mal had just woken up, that it was awkward and then they were saving Inara. On some level, Simon always expected that Mal would eventually leave him for Inara, who was, Simon could admit it, a much more beautiful, refined, worthy person than he. But still, he had hoped it wouldn't come so soon.

Which is what surprised him when, as they finally reached the cockpit where they could eavesdrop in peace, he didn't see any of that he was expecting.

Mal was composed, smiling. Inara was the one that seemed confused and wanting, and Simon was only too happy to see all of that drained from Mal's face.

"Of course we'd love for you to visit," he said. His hands were on his hips, Simon could tell from the position of his shoulders, and he looked relaxed, happy. "Everybody misses you. Even Jayne, I'm sure."

"I'd love to," she said. Her eyes looked something like desperation, and for a moment Simon felt like clawing them out. "Who ended up marrying whom? I heard about the Marriage Law. Companions were exempt, of course."

"Well, River 'n Jayne, then Zoe 'n Kaylee."

Inara laughed at these. "I never would have expected that. What about you?"

"Simon," Mal answered simply, and smiled even more if it was possible. Inara laughed and looked, Simon noted happily, nervous.

"How interesting. That must be difficult."

"I can handle him," Mal said, and left it at that. "When will you visit? I want to make Kaylee's little heart happy."

"Thinkin' of leavin' me for prettier people, Kaylee?" Zoe asked at this. Kaylee laughed and squeezed Zoe's arm.

Simon looked around the room. River was swiveling around in the pilot's chair, with Jayne standing behind her, playing with her hair. Kaylee and Zoe were standing close, like best friends would. And there was his husband, his husband, on the screen in front of him, looking as fine as Simon had ever seen him.

The marriage thing wasn't so bad at all, he decided.

 

Space was time, River thought. It just kept on going, and there was no way to stop it.

Half a year, six Earth-cycles since the nuptials. Nuptials, like Neptune, which was known for the water. Not the crazy, that was the moon. The moon could make people crazy. Moony. River was moony, _I'm moony_ , but maybe it's everybody else, maybe it's people back from Earth who were moony to not know.

On Earth, people were limited. Didn't know anything, thought they were the center of the world. But they hadn't experienced everything, so how could they know? They were silly. They just had to get out there and experience things.

Still, some things were the same. The feeling of somebody else pressed tight next to you, like petals of a flower. As they opened up, they accepted in the sun, let each other in, but they still knew the importance of bundling up. There was the feeling of not being the most important, of somebody else being the center of your life. Orbiting, we are all orbiting, people have always been orbiting, it's just what we orbit around that changes. Everything changes. The fear of change, then the acceptance, knowing it's better. Feeling it's better.

The feeling of another heartbeat inside of you, growing and changing and being a part of you, a part of somebody else.

River didn't know that feeling. She wondered if she ever would. She couldn't say that she wanted it particularly right now, but sometimes she thought about it. Mostly when she was by herself, listening to the humming, the continuance, the space. She thought about it, where she might fit in. She was a princess, needing to be rescued so that she could experience life.

And Jayne? Jayne was Jayne, and she loved Jayne.

And it goes on and people orbit and smile and laugh and love and live.

 

It was one year, three weeks, and two days after the first message that the second message came. Mal looked at the screen and read.

The Marriage Law was being repealed. Apparently, the Alliance still hadn't learned that force can't bring change, not how they want it. 

So, Mal thought. Thought about the agony that the law had caused him. The doubt, the fear. The confusion, all the extra arguments that had sprouted up because of it. The loss of everything being simpler, easier, safer, of being able to look out for yourself, then the crew, not your husband or wife then the crew then yourself. The loss of Inara, the loss of Wash, the loss of sanity.

There was a lot that they had lost, and here it was, the chance to regain it.

Mal pressed a few buttons until the bulletin was erased. Then, he turned around and went to the infirmary. He wanted to spend some time with his husband.


End file.
